Dog’s Letters to God

From: The Dog
                    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom,
if ever, smell one another?
                  Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
couch? Or is it still the same old story?
                Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often  do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘ Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God:  If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

 Dear God:  We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,  horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths .  What do humans understand?

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please .

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
                  If there are, will I have to apologize?

 Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog …
                    1.  I will not eat the cat’s food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 
                    2.  I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc . , just  because I like the way they smell.
                    3 . The litter box is not a cookie jar.
                    4 . The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
                    5 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff
                    6 . I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
                    7 .  Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying  ‘hello’.
                    8 . I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
                    9 . I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
                    10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
                    11 . I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
                    12 . The  cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
             P . S . Dear  God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

One Response

  1. Love the dogs jokes!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: